Guess whose story is officially out?
THAT'S RIGHT, THE WULF'S. AROO!
Spoilers ahead, people. Don't want em, don't read it. Also, this probably will be sort of long and ridiculous.
Most notable things in the intro, we've got a more fleshed out version of his story, and- WAIT A MINUTE THAT'S DOUBLE. Except it isn't? Well, it is, but she's called Sister Agatha here, and she's apparently trusted.
The Canopy Kingdom is screwed.
First fight, Wulf VS Bella, for publicity, of course!
Also can I just say Beowulf is wonderfully cocky because he is.
Second fight, VS Painwheel, because of what I said above. Beowulf no.
BEOWULF STOP TELLING THE LOCALS TO RECORD YOU
3, VS Ninja Nurse (Valentine no don't).
Valentine lived through the war, Beowulf merely 'posed' his fights... Oh my god why are you so polite after lecturing him
OH MY FJNKING GOD IT'S ANNIEEEE! NOT BEING USED FOR A JOKE! GET THE CAMERA!
Okay, that section was completely pointless, other than showing that Annie's hair trick actually does work and that Beo's might be biting off more than he can chew.
Okay, I didn't mention him before, but I'm getting bad vibes from this Zane guy.
I don't like him and he makes me uncomfortable.
ZANE NO DON'T SET UP A FIGHT BETWEEN THE GIANT TUBA MAN AND THE WULF
BEOWULF STOP TRYING TO GET MINETTE TO RECORD YOU SHE DOESNT HAVE A CAMERA
Fight four, BW VS BB.
Beowulf I said stop bugging Minette and I mean it leave the fishie to her waitressing
Oh no Avian's probably dead again darnit Beowulf you shouldn't have listened to Zane
Aha the game is catching up to me the agent is gonna be evil
Also, I feel his necklace probably isn't shark tooth...
WHAT WHY ARE THERE TWO BEOWULVES THAT IS NOT OKA- Double. It's gotta be Double. Yup, I knew that.
Also Grendal was drugged??? Okay???
Two Beowulf moon.
THE FIGHT OF THE CENTURY, BEOWULF VS... BEOWULF???
Okay, Beowulf has some morality, coming to about that, and saying that he'll make up for it. (Which will end up horrible, I'm sure.)
"Your fate is sealed"- ZANE IS VERY BAD NEWS
WHAT THE FJNK ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT NOW OH LAMIA
- LOUD SCREECHING* DOUBLE WHAT THE FJNK
I MEAN I CALLED THAT ZANE WAS GONNA BE EVIL BUT I DIDN'T KNOW HE WOULD END UP BEING YOU
WHY THAT FACE
DOUBLE NO DONT BE A MEME
THAT IS THE FACE OF MEMES
LOOK AT THAT SMUG FACE OH MY GOD DOUBLE WHY
NO NO PUNS THAT IS NOT ALOUD DOUBLE NOOO
AND IN ZANE THAT IS HORRIBLE
Wait what there's still more why Beowulf just got eATTEN
Ew that looks kinda gro- AND THAT'S WHERE THE FAILED DLC CHARACTERS GO.
You'd think Cerebella would notice the missing performers, Parasoul her MAIN EGRETS, Peacock the other people from Lab 8 (even if she wasn't concerned I think she'd still notice some nuisances gone), AND WELP THERE GO THE PLAYABLE CHARACTERS THIS IS DOUBLE'S STORY MODE ALL OVER AGAIN. REST IN PIECES, HELICOPTER BLADES, GIANT TUBA MAN AND HAT LADY.
And why do you think geez Wulf you're slow. THEIR FATES WERE ALSO SEALED. IF YOUR FATE HAS BEEN SEALED, DOUBLE EATS YOU.
THE INEVITABLE FIGHT 6, ELDRICH ABOMINATION VS WRESTLER.
Wow creepy fight music good nice quiet and simple. ALL THE BETTER TO EAT YOU B- oh wait no Beowulf needs to win.
Beowulf no you are in the Double you can't beat them up from the inside
YES BEOWULF GET USED TO THE SERIOUSLY GROSS ENTRAIL-ISH DECOR FOR YOU WILL NOT BE LEAVING.
Wh- no Hurting will not help I mean sure it's the only REAL furniture here but it doesn't mask the gross fleshiness
OH HEY LOOKIE IT'S ANNIE, HERE TO SAVE THE DAYYYY, WITH HER RAINBOW-GALAXY BLADE AND SAGAN, STILL NOT SWEARING AT ALL!
Welp rest in pieces Double.
OH SHIZNITZ THE SKULLGIRL IS RIGHT ABOVE
BEOWULF DONT GO AFTER HER IS SWEAR TO LAMIA-
He's doing it. He is doing it oh my goddesses.
Down to the catacombs, Marie is waitiiiiing!~
Yes Marie shame him shame him for the exploits
FINAL(?) FIGHT- V.S. The Skullgirl, Bloody Marie.
Don't kill him he was amazing
WAIT DOUBLE NO DON'T EAT HIM AGAIN
YEAH GO GET THAT ATTEMPTED MEMER
AND YEAH BEOWULF RE-KILL THE GIGAN
BEOWULF NO YOUR FAC- OK NEVERMIND
SMASH IT, SMASH THE SKULLHEART!
The Shapeshifter has been sliced in two (for now), the Skullgirl defeated, the Skullheart chair-slammed, therefor the day has been saved.
More Annie lore, making amends (sort of?), and talking of the Annie show...?
OH NOOO THIS IS AMAZING
OH NOOO THAT'S REALLY CUTE
ALL OF LAB EIGHT CROWDED AROUND WATCHING THE SHOW
LOOK AT HOW CONFUSED PEACOCK IS
ALSO HEY LOOK AVIAN AINT DEAD FOR ONCE
Whoops I think Beowulf might've become my favourite abort abort